8 things that annoyed me before Buhari became president

By Rotimi Akinola

Buhari took the oath of office on May 29, 2015

From the ignorant-laden, to the shameless, to the annoying, to the plain dumb; here are eight (or are they nine?) not-to-be-written-home-about things that happened before Mr Muhammadu Buhari was sworn in as the new President of Nigeria.

Ageing Agbaje vs ageless Buhari

The ever amiable Babatunde Fashola, the immediate past governor of Lagos State, actually complained that 60-yo Jimi Agbaje who was challenging new Lagos governor Akinwunmi Ambode, 57, was “too old” to serve.

It’s so amazing what politicians can say when their interests are on the line. It was this same Fashola that went about in the company of the Jagaban of Nigeria and the entire APC gang dismissing Buhari’s age as “just a number.”

Fayose’s “death wish” for “brain-dead” Buhari

The Nigerian, Governor Ayo Fayose of Ekiti State, is a great man. The way he kept alerting us over the possibility of Buhari’s “demise” to the way he attempted illustrating the “deadness” of the President’s brain with an allusion to his own aged mother, is nothing short of the stuff only genius brains can produce. Thank you, Your Excellency.

Just imagine that “death advert” on the front pages of some of our “trusted” national dailies. Chai! Shame on the lapdogs.

Religious Bigotry 401

Former VP Namadi Sambo actually told Muslims to reject Buhari because he would use new VP Pastor Yemi Oshibajo to Christianize the country. This architect must be from outer space.

This guy belongs to the PDP, a party which warned the predominantly Christian South of the country to diss Buhari whom they claimed had an agenda to Islamize the country. That’s plain bonks.

Hey, buddy! It’s an election, not the Olympics!

After President Jonathan…sorry, former President Jonathan bullied INEC into postponing the polls, I thought we were really going to have a real game-changer that would swing opinion in favour of the PDP. But what did we get? The Nigerian Olympics (TNO)!

FPGEJ decided to jog around the entire country just to prove Buhari was not healthy enough to be president. It sure takes more than athletic abracadabra to govern a nation.

Please did Jonathan jog back to that welcome party at Otueke?

No wonder these people started trekking “upandan”

I think Jonathan set the pace with a jog, the APC replied with a million man march that attracted no more than the number of people required to fill the seats at the National Assembly, and the rest of the country decide to trek for this and that after Buhari was declared winner.

It’s a good thing they’re following in the steps of their quondam president.

Who remembers #EkitiGate?

I do. The actors denied it happened. They only maintained the evidence would not be admissible in a Nigerian court. What did Jonathan do? He declared, without investigating the thing, the audio was fabricated. I don’t even want to talk about this. Next please…

Special circumstances

That electoral officer who oversaw the presidential election in Rivers State is a world class act. “I wrote the result under special circumstances.” Whatever that means?

Okay, wait don’t let us judge him. I actually think he meant to say he wrote the results under the luminousness of heavy floodlights somewhere in the house of …Issokay!

Orubebe what?!

Elder Godsday Orubebe joined the APC! He said he dumped the opposition PDP for the new ruling party in order to help sustain Nigeria’s democratic development – a reality that could have been truncated if not for that super-duper calmness hemoglobin obviously present in Jega’s veins.

Nigerians will never forget that fateful day, that God’s day Mr Orubebe threw tantrums as Jega announced results that showed FPGEJ’s chances at the polls were headed for the guillotine. The rest is history. Yeah, that’s a befitting cliché.

Okay…that’s enough. I’m pretty sure I missed many things. Please help drop them in the comments section below.

Oh…before you do…Is it now safe for my Igbo friends to swim in the Lagos Lagoon? Okay, I’m sorry!

Follow Rotimi on Twitter @akinolarj to continue this conversation or drop your comments on the blog.

6 thoughts on “8 things that annoyed me before Buhari became president

  1. Succinctly dressed with humour, while notching things Nigerians have forgotten so soon. It’s more glaring now that our Political Nollywood actors ( I hope I got that right) fights in cinematic arena and smiles with each other behind closed doors. Akinola has painstakingly analysed all this while I employ you all to be watchful and not forget so soon. Rotimi, you actually did miss something, the razzmatazz of our film, musical artiste joining political parties, then, the two pictures of Alh Dangote on the election result’s collation day; one with our formal President GEJ and GMB.

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